Jason’s heart sank as he returned to his room, slamming the door shut. The music continued to play, and the dishes remained untouched on the table. He collapsed onto his bed, not bothering to turn on the lights or prepare for sleep. He felt paralyzed, all his dreams of a future with Cinta dissipating into thin air. The disappointment weighed heavily on both his middle school self and his present college self, leaving him uncertain of how to process the whirlwind of emotions triggered by Cinta’s unexpected reaction. The image of Cinta walking out the door replayed in his mind, each repetition deepening the emptiness he felt. He had allowed his hopes to soar too high, biting off more than he could chew.

Eventually, exhaustion overcame him, and he drifted into a fitful sleep, seeking respite from the anxiety and pain that clenched his chest, yearning for the world to fade away. The piercing sound of his alarm jolted him awake at 8 am., a reminder of his morning classes with Cinta and Jovan. He couldn’t bear the thought of facing Cinta again, but he had no choice. The classes he had that day were required for him to pass the semester. Jason grabbed his bag and exchanged his neat buttoned-up shirt for a hoodie he found discarded on the floor. He sighed, rubbing his swollen eyes from the tears that had stained his face. Outside his dorm, he spotted his bike, a reminder of the time he and Cinta had ridden together in the park. “Slow down! You’re biking so recklessly, my God,” Cinta had exclaimed, laughter lacing her words as she clung tightly to Jason’s waist to keep from falling.

Tears welled up in Jason’s eyes as he plugged in his AirPods, drowning himself in music to accompany the short 10-minute ride to campus. Arriving early, he entered the classroom and took a seat next to Jovan, who immediately sensed that something was wrong. “Dude, are you okay? What happened yesterday? You weren’t responding to my texts,” Jovan inquired, patting Jason’s back with concern. Jason slumped over his desk, pulling his hood up and refusing to engage with Jovan. Recognizing Jason’s mood, Jovan wisely chose to remain silent, understanding that his friend was not in a state to talk.

The lecture began, but Jason remained hunched over his desk, his heartache intensifying when he noticed Cinta’s absence. Jason found it challenging to focus on the lecture, his attention frequently drifting to his phone, contemplating whether or not to send a text to Cinta. Soon, the bell rang, signaling the end of the period and the start of the next class. Overwhelmed and yearning for solitude, Jason decided to skip the class and quietly slipped into the music room. He only informed Jovan of his whereabouts. Sitting down at the grand piano, he attempted to lose himself in the music, choosing to play "Goodbye To A World" by Porter Robinson as a means to alleviate his sorrows.

However, his solace was short-lived when he heard the door open. He sighed, expecting an unwelcome interruption, but his heart skipped a beat when he saw Cinta walking toward him. She approached him slowly and took a seat beside him on the piano bench. Confusion and anxiety filled Jason as he questioned her presence. “Why are you here? And how did you know I was here?” he asked, his emotions swirling.

“Jovan told me. I think you deserve an explanation for why I ran away yesterday. I’m sorry. But, I’m not ready. I don’t want to ruin what we have, how I feel about you. But I can’t love you in that way. I need to figure myself out first before I can navigate love with you,” Cinta confessed, her voice trembling.

“I got scared. Don’t think that I hate you now. I just... I’m not sure if I can handle it. Handle being with you. I thought about avoiding you, but the thought of losing you was unbearable. It took a lot for me to talk to you about this, but the truth is, I don’t love you. I don’t mean that I hate you or don’t enjoy your company, but I can’t love you romantically. I wanted to tell you this because I received a surprise student exchange letter to study in Switzerland for the semester. I want to love you, I want to be yours, but long-distance will never work. I’ve contemplated telling you over the past few weeks, but we were so happy, and I didn’t want to ruin the moment by revealing that I’m leaving. There’s a chance I won’t come back for the next few years until I graduate. Although I have the option to return here after a year of studying abroad, I don’t think I will. I don’t want to lose you, so I still want to keep in touch, but I can’t handle anything more than just being friends. So, this is my goodbye, perhaps for several years. If fate brings us back together, I promise I’ll give us a chance. I’m leaving for my flight tomorrow at 10 pm. If you’d like, you can see me one last time at the airport.”

Cinta’s eyes brimmed with tears as she held Jason’s hand, pouring out her feelings. They both trembled, their emotions raw and exposed. “So, what you mean is that you’re leaving, possibly forever? You’re never coming back?” Jason asked, his voice filled with pain and vulnerability.

“There’s a chance I won’t come back. But I promise I’ll try to return to you at least once after this,” Cinta whispered, gently cupping Jason’s cheek and placing a tender kiss on it. With tears streaming down her face, she stood up and bid him farewell. Jason remained frozen in place, unable to move, as he watched the girl he loved walk away, realizing that it might be a goodbye forever.